How relatable are you? That is, how easy are you to get along with? I imagine we would all like to believe we are the life and soul of the party, but on balance does one’s personality normally attract people or repel them?
Relatability is an important life skill, one which is exactly that: a skill. It can be learnt and refined over time. I do believe it is an imperative skill for all gentlemen Punters to possess and to continue to develop, as the nature of one’s hobby involves meeting plenty of different people, often from different backgrounds and of different ages.
From my experience, I can certainly attest to it being a skill all of the Elite Escorts master and one all Punters and Escorts should aim to acquire. No-one can ever can say they are the “finished article”, as there is always more one can always learn.
Escorts need to constantly be able to quickly “read” clients, to assess their personality, their tastes and even if they pose any threat. Therefore, the more relatable a guy is, the easier it is for the lady and the quicker she will feel comfortable in his presence.
What can a gentleman Punter do to make himself more relatable and to put lady companions at ease?
From the initial communication, ensure one is polite, respectful and open (read “First contact” http://www.capitalpunterblog.com/?p=122 for more details). Do not feel it is necessary to “impress” the lady, as I am sure most would prefer a convivial conversation as opposed to a bullshit merchant.
As and when one meets for the first time, there is an incredibly easy, cheap and effective way of putting a lady at her ease: smile! As the old saying correctly says, a smile says a thousand words and is a window into your soul. A happy, genuine smile and a pleasant greeting will go a long way to settling the initial anxieties.
Once one has met the lady, I believe a bit of conversation before commencing the private time not only reassures the lady, it makes her feel valued more as a person.
Develop a few good “ice breakers”, simple and general conversation starters, which can get the lady chatting and to open up.
That said, I have met a couple of very nervous ladies, so in these cases, be prepared to be open about yourself as far as you feel comfortable, as few details about yourself can settle the nerves.
Above all, be non-confrontational. That is not to say one cannot disagree with a companion, more it is to how one does so. No-one likes to be told they are wrong or to be corrected and sometimes does it really matter who is right? Indeed, occasionally it is far more erudite to just smile and say “I’m sure you’re right” or “I agree with you”. Trying to impress with a superior intellect will instantly make the lady feel inferior and on edge.
Does relatability really matter?
Ask yourself how you feel every time there is a knock on your door and a total stranger is there, say a salesman, and is seeking to come in to your house. This is what it must feel like to a lady when a Punter arrives. She knows next to nothing about her visitor and has to rely on her instinct and to take things on trust.
Ask yourself, could you do that? Would you want to be in this situation? Repeatedly? To ease any possible anxiety she may feel, ask yourself: what can I do to make her feel more comfortable with me more quickly?
Other simple tips to make yourself more relatable
- Ask questions about the other person, without interrogating them and avoid telling someone their opinion is wrong
- Listen more than you talk
- Avoid sarcasm, particularly with foreign ladies, as it does not translate!
- Be prepared to discuss a broad spectrum of topics, not just what interests you!
- Take a genuine interest in the other person, where they are from, their interests when not working, but do not pry into their private life, as that will have the opposite effect as to what one is trying to achieve.
- Be prepared to “break the ice” and make the first move
Trust and respect
Trust and respect are earned over time and cannot be forced. Just because someone does not trust you totally on the first meeting, it does not mean they never will. However, if after a few meetings they clearly do not, I would surmise they never will.
Some people are naturally cautious or nervous, so do not misinterpret this as hostility.
Every human has a basic need to feel important and one of the best ways to achieve this is by showing an interest in the other person. Sorry gents, but it is not all about you, even if you are passing over an envelope at the start of the meeting. If you think it is, fine, but it does nothing to put a lady at ease and to make yourself relatable.
However, a simple bit of basic courtesy will go a long way and it is normally reciprocated in kind.
Through out the years while managing other agencies, I’ve came across many different types of escorts / punters. You generally get an idea of which personality matches together. Usually the ones that call late at night and only want something that tickles their fancy are the ones that don’t care about relating to the girls. These clients are usually used to the “business” escorts that treat everything like a transaction.
I’m happy to say that there are none of these ladies in my agency.
Personality is just as important as looks, something people forget that!
Thank you for you input, which is much appreciated.
It’s nice to know others put such a value on personality too, as looks only go so far and I can relate to what you say about how some guys and ladies regard it as a business transaction only.
One of the most important things I look for in a new escort is her reaction to our meeting. It generally tends to be over a coffee or wine where I get to know them a bit better, what they studied, why they moved here etc. Nothing too personal that a client wouldn’t ask them during a day. If the girl seems a bit off or funny, then she’s not the one for me or my clients.
It is always a pleasure to read your blog! x