Dilemmas

Be honest, do you have too much free time, too much money and too few things to do? I imagine for everyone each of these questions would be answered with a resounding no! Therefore, we all have to make regular compromises in our lives.

As I write this, I am enjoying a sunshine break, but as with previous holidays, this too creates a dilemma for me.

Apart from the obvious reason, I do miss spending time with my favourite ladies when I am away. I miss their company, their humour and just the overall uplifting effect they have on me. Of course, we do still keep in touch, but one cannot beat the companionship itself.

Some common dilemmas us gentlemen Punters face, I imagine, would include:

  • To Punt or to work?
  • To see friends & to go out or to see a lady?
  • Who to see?
  • To see someone new or to see a regular? The thrill of seeing someone new, as opposed to the excitement of meeting with a cherished regular
  • How often to Punt?
  • The duration of each meeting
  • What gift to take

One of the best pieces of Punting wisdom I ever read was in the blog by Jay Nelson (“The Hobbyist survival kit”http://www.geishadiaries.com/home/the-hobbyist-survival-kit.html ). Quite simply, Jay said Punters must always keep it real and remember what their reality is.

Don’t misunderstand me, Punting is a wonderful experience. However, it is escapism from normal life an is NOT my real life (sadly!)! I imagine this may hold true for many other Punters too.

Striking a balance

I always try to strike a happy medium between my activities, both in the scene and in my outside life, as well as between the two of them.

I set myself a budget for the month, as well as allocating the time I can realistically afford and I stick to both of these………..most of the time! I need to be honest with myself as to the demands of my outside life and recognise that is my “reality” and to give it due priority.

The balance I seek to achieve within my activities is to see the ladies I enjoy meeting as often as possible, preferably a minimum of at least once a month.

This was probably my biggest mistake in my earlier years, as I saw a lot more ladies then than I do now. Therefore, I found it endlessly frustrating when I could not get to see them on a regular basis and I ended up finding it unsatisfactory.

I have also reduced the number of meetings I have per month, preferring instead to opt for spending more time with each of these special ladies and sharing more experiences together, such as lunch, dinner, the theatre and threesomes.

The result of this sea change has been forming closer connections, having much more continuity and an overall much more fulfilling experience. This is just me, though, and my approach will not be for everyone.

It is a sad, but nevertheless an inescapable truth of life we can NEVER do everything we would desire and to try to do so is a recipe for unhappiness. However, we can seek to maintain our happiness by striking a decent equilibrium between our preferred activities and the responsibilities we all have.

There will always be dilemmas and compromises and to expect something else will always be both painful and futile. I believe if one has a good idea of the values one holds dear, it becomes a much easier balancing act, but a balancing act it shall always be.

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