End of the world as we know it……….

We have been here before, but this time this really is it! It is Armageddon!

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have just ridden past at a gallop, to the serenading of a Soprano.

The Capital Punter Blog is over: This is the end.

Having been here before in September 2012 and then been talked off from the ledge, I want to be very clear: there will be no reprieve, no change of mind. This is it. In fact, due to the time lag on here, I have already departed.

I only resumed blogging owing to the opinions of a few I valued and because there was still quite a bit I still wanted to write. However, times have changed. Moreover, I have changed.

Firstly, I am no longer a Punter and have not been for a quite some time and I will never be returning to it.

I have also covered all I feel I want to, or can on my own, and many of the ideas I had, but not yet covered, will remain unwritten.

The offers of help I had which helped to enticed me back have largely failed to materialise, so, as I said when I resumed, this blog will not last without the input of others. Therefore, it will come as no surprise then I am ending it now.

This is the final post, there will be no more.

It is not a case of my future lies elsewhere, as it has been there for a while. I have other things I have moved onto, so this is where my energy and effort will be directed from here on.

The future of Capital Punter Blog?

What happens to the site now? If I am totally honest, I am not sure it really matters that much. Despite what some have said, I remain unconvinced of it as a resource, rather it is a collection of random opinions from a random guy, somewhere in Old London Town.

I know some of you have enjoyed reading it and I appreciate your attention and I have enjoyed communicating with a few of you about it. However, everything has a lifespan and this blog has reached its “best before” date, so it is time it is discarded into the recycling bin of internet obscurity.

However, in deference to those who have claimed they value it, I will leave the site live for others to read in the future.

Obituary

It is not often one has the luxury of writing one’s one eulogy. Although it isn’t really my style, maybe you will indulge me on this one occasion with the luxury of a short review?

Capital Punter was an alter-ego who wrote about the Escort world for 2 years. Actually he never really existed as a punter, as I never punted under this name and I was always honest with those I saw about my writings, probably way too honest for my own good, if the truth be known.

Probably my greatest failing with this blog has been I feel I was too open about myself. I have probably revealed more in posts than I should have done about my feelings and emotions and laid myself way too bare. I was probably also too candid about my experiences.

As for the ladies I have met, it is true that although I had some real low points and incidents I would rather have avoided, on the whole, I have met some really charming ladies, whom it was a pleasure to know, for however a brief time, and there have been some incredible experiences which I shall always cherish.

My greatest failing though has probably been I cared about those I saw too much. Not in a manner which ever transgressed anyone’s boundaries, more that I just cared about their wellbeing beyond the occasional meetings or brief times we spent. However, that is just me. I make no excuses or apologies for it and some episodes I have documented here have hurt and upset me greatly, other incidents are purely for me to know about.

Although there were plenty of things about the scene which did irk, I have absolutely no desire to do a hatchet job now, just because my time is now spent elsewhere. How shallow would that be? I was always a volunteer and it gave me many great experiences for 4 1/2 years, so it would be disingenuous of me in the extreme to focus on a few issues or people, almost as a justification for leaving. The truth is, I have changed and the real dissatisfaction was with myself not with anyone I saw or did not even ever meet. Nothing in life is perfect, especially me: just ask those who knew me!

Requiem

I had a moment of stark realisation recently when reading a blog by someone else, which really made me jolt and I twigged why I found the transient nature of the relationships increasingly hard to take, which was probably the single largest reason for my departure.

Essentially this gent had said how, sooner or later, we all move on and he realised the ladies he saw were only of a temporary nature. Sooner or later they would find a boyfriend, get married or just change. Even though I concede nothing in life remains the same, it is nice to retain some continuity and not to feel we are always starting over. Unfortunately, I found I was starting over way too often for my liking.

Well, dear friends, sooner or later, we are all gone and, as far as this blog goes, that is me finished now and Capital Punter, whoever he really was, is now also gone.

I send my sincere thanks to those of you who have read with an open mind, be it occasionally or on a regular basis. To those who I have had the good fortunate to get to know as a result of this blog, it has been a pleasure and I hope a few of you may stay in touch in the way I have left open. The Twitter account will remain so others may find the existence of the blog, but the account will be dormant and unmonitored.

I hope my thoughts, expressed in my posts may have been of interest to some of you and if they have offered some enlightenment, it has made the whole process worthwhile.

I am sure there will mixed feelings about the end of this blog. However, I feel I have made this decision for the right reasons, which I hope the more generous of you will understand and respect. I wish you all well, be you an escort, a punter or a curious reader.

The end………….

Posted in Capital Punter, News, Punter Blog categories | 8 Comments

Sex on the phone?

Why is it an unwritten law, one’s mobile will always ring at the most inappropriate moment?

Many guys will happily berate a lady for either not turning off her phone or, even worse, for answering calls during a meeting, i.e. their time. However, how many gents actually turn off their own phone or, even worse, answer calls during a meeting?

Clearly I have no idea what other gents do, but I do know what I have done. Normally, and I hasten to add, normally, I will turn off my work and private phones before I go into a meeting. However, there have been times when I have forgotten.

Is it not Murphy’s Law which states the opposite from what you want will always happen?

Despite work knowing I am having a day off and we may have even spoken just before I go in, my phone will ring. Sometimes it is clients, other times it is colleagues or managers. Either way, it is annoying and an inconvenience.

Calls interrupt the flow of a meeting and the most adroit of ladies always assume it is important and suggest I answer it. However, it may not be a call one wishes to answer in the context of a meeting and it creates awkwardness.

Even putting one’s phone on silent does not always help! I had one meeting where I had done this an it was still in my trouser pocket. We were enjoying a bit of a snog and cuddle with the lady sitting on my lap when, you’ve guessed it, my phone rang!

As it was on silent, it vibrated away. However, the lady actually enjoyed the sensation of my vibrating trousers and even suggested ringing me to prolong it! However, despite the moment of hilarity, it still interrupted the flow.

There is also the subliminal distraction of a missed call, where one wonders who it was and if it were important or not. Either way, silent or not, it still is a distraction.

I do feel it is an etiquette issue: If a lady is worth seeing, it is worth giving her one’s undivided attention, is it not? If one were in a business meeting, on a flight or at the cinema, one would turn off all phones, so why not in a meeting with a lady?

There is no point in gents complaining about a lady not giving her undivided attention if one is not prepared to reciprocate. Of course I appreciate there will always be the odd occasion where one is expecting an urgent call or has to keep it on in case of emergency, but I do feel these should be the exception not the norm.

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Vive la difference!

One thing I have learned over my years as a punter, most ladies work in a similar way but everyone has their own preferred methods, such as time and method of reconfirming and arrival arrangements.

There are so many similarities yet so many differences!

I believe it is important for us gents to respect each lady’s personal preferences and to fit into her method, rather than expecting every lady to know and adopt our preferred way of doing things.

Before meeting for the first time

The vast majority of ladies like to speak on the phone before the first meeting, whereas a few do not feel it necessary.

If the booking has been made in advance, some ladies prefer an email or text a day or so beforehand to reconfirm everything is still fine.

On the day of the meeting, some ladies prefer a text or call by a certain time to reconfirm the meeting is going ahead. Others do not like any communication too early in the day.

Some ladies will email or text the address in advance, whilst others ask clients to phone from a designated point at the time of the meeting, either for their own security or for the sake of discretion.

So many similarities yet so many differences!

My own preferences

Much as I am happy to accede to preferences of a lady, I do still have my own preferred way of handling bookings.

I do tend to book quite far in advance and I am happy to chat on the phone beforehand. In fact, I dislike it when I cannot. I find by at least saying hello, it gives one the opportunity to break the ice and establish a rapport, but also to obtain a good feeling for what the lady is really like.

I am happy to send an email confirmation a day or two in advance, subject to time limitations due to work or travelling, and I am happy to call or text a confirmation first thing in the morning on the day of meeting, although I have found my “first thing” is definitely much earlier than some ladies’!

I am a serial planner, so I prefer to have the address in advance, or at least an indication of the post code. This means I can look up the area and the transport connections so I can judge how long the journey will require, as well as the availability of shops in the area for those last minute items I may wish to take with me, or local coffee shops where I may pass the final half an hour before the meeting.

I am quite ok with confirming at the agreed time or from a pre-arranged place, on one condition: the lady actual answers and I am not left standing there for any length of time, looking like a complete lemon and looking very dubious!

During the meeting

It never ceases to amaze me just how similar many ladies like to operate once one has walked through the door.

There are set protocols for handing over one’s donation promptly, and then many ladies like to have a chat first, then for the gent to freshen up and finally to seek more horizontal pastures. There are many similar aspects to each of these stages, which regular Punters will recognise without the necessity for me to spell them out.

Ultimately, I am more than happy to follow any reasonable request a lady has, least of all as she may have a very good reason for doing so, such as over curious neighbours, something us gents will not know about.

The arrangement and execution of most meetings follow a set protocol and this is reassuring in a way to the regular punter. However, for all of the similarities, there are also so many differences!

Posted in Capital Punter, Escorts, Etiquette, New Punters, Punter Blog categories, Punters | Comments Off

Great expectations

“Why can’t everyone else be like us?”. This is a question I am sure many of us will have posed at some point or other.

During a recent visit to a lady I have known for a while, she was telling me how let down she felt by the recent behaviour of a few clients.

This was not her being indiscreet, as I have no idea about whom she was talking and she was merely confiding in me. The reason she was doing so is because we have always enjoyed a privileged relationship where we share a mutual and absolute respect and trust of one and another and we often confide in one and another about good or bad experiences and life in general.

After a long discussion, we concluded we both probably expect a lot as we always aim to treat people well. Probably, in truth, though we expect too much, as we are often disappointed when not our expectations are not met.

Does this make us wrong? Or are our expectations simply too great?

On both counts I would have to say no, as I do not believe it is wrong to expect kindness to be reciprocated and to hope to be treated as I treat others. Of course, where we are wrong is to evaluate others by our own value system.

This may sound like a contradiction, but I do believe we have a point. What I mean is one can expect others to treat one well, if one has been unconditional in one’s treatment of someone else. However, one must also accept, the flip side of this is other people do not have the same value systems as ourselves or even know what our values are.

To have great expectations is not wrong, but one needs to add a large degree of realism too!

My friend shared several incidents of late where clients, both new and long-standing, had shown anything other than a full and decent degree of respect for her. Knowing her as I do and what a genuine and kind-hearted lady she is, I could not only fully appreciate her pain and upset, I could empathise from when I had suffered similar hurts.

I suppose, too, the degree one feels let down depends on the perceived transgression one has faced. However, is it not true, if we have ever acted foolishly, our level of upset can be as much with ourself for allowing ourselves to be taken advantage of, as it is for the hurt its self.

My friend felt several clients had abused her trust and confidence, which I can understand is disappointing when it is from existing clients she knew well. However, and I have been equally guilty here, when one does not know the other party well, there is a degree of culpability if one is maybe too open and lowers one’s barriers either too soon or too readily.

I know I have made plenty of howlers, some of them toe-curlingly cringe-making! Some were made worth by having repeated previous mistakes, again…….and again! What is the definition of insanity?! However, my naivety was only ever down to good intentions and we all make mistakes and errors of judgement, don’t we?

In the past been accused of being unrealistic and for expecting too much, but is this true?

To make mistakes is only human and to expect otherwise is unrealistic. What is within our control is our reaction to the lessons we learn along the way and in response to the sand being kicked in our face.

A totally understandable reaction would be to become hardened or even bitter or to lower one’s expectations of others. Equally, another response would be to quit something which has irked us.

Essentially, there are numerous potential responses to any given situation and the type of response will largely depend on our own personality and how life has influenced us, good or badly.

An interesting footnote to the conversation I had with this lady is her advice to me when we have had the same conversation when I have been less than enamoured with various incidents. In short, she said there is nothing wrong in my approach, but one has to accept there are “sharks” out there. One does not need to change one’s approach, but we need to learn to swim with the sharks.

If it is not wrong to have great expectations then, should we not expect to encounter a few Great Whites?!

One final point I would make though, would we really want everyone else to be just like us? I know with my copious faults, it is probably just as well there is such a variance in people!

Posted in Capital Punter, Escorts, New Punters, Punter Blog categories, Punters | Comments Off

Emotional disconnect

In my post last year called “Managing emotions” (http://wp.me/p1rllI-jb), I stated how important it is for both clients and Escorts to be able to understand the true nature of a meeting and the real level of the relationship which eschews.

Discretion is everything and maintaining a certain degree of separation is important. Whilst I acknowledge and fully embrace this, I believe some ladies do need to exercise the other side of their discretion and to be prepared to engage more warmly with those clients who are valued and trusted.

What I do find difficult is why some ladies cannot reconcile this and still maintain a degree of emotional warmth towards a regular client. Some are just cold, full stop, whilst others keep clients so much at arm’s length it paints a picture in one’s mind of a dangerous dog being handled at the end of a pole.

I do apologise if this sounds harsh or sweeping, yet I can only write based on my experiences. If most ladies do not relate to this analogy, that is good! However, there are those who do handle clients, even regular ones like this and it is not pleasant to be on the receiving end.

Yet, some clients are perfectly decent and trustworthy. They may demonstrate genuine loyalty through their patronage and surely possess some value to a lady in addition to the mere financial.

This may not be every client a lady sees and may even not be every regular client, yet there will be a few, I would hazard a guess, who do deserve a little more recognition.

Naturally, there are those who do not enjoy their job or even hate all men, but I am not talking about such extremes here. I am looking at the ladies who can be perfectly civil, but cannot quite bring themself to either trust a client, or to show genuine warmth towards him.

I am sorry if this sounds negative, but I am fed up with how often I have heard a lady say between meetings she was thinking of me, yet I hear nothing until the next booking rolls around. Without wishing to sound like a cynic, one does begin to wonder how genuine and sincere such sentiments are, particularly towards a regular and, hopefully trusted, client, if a lady cannot find the time to email or text a client and to tell him.

There is no point in showing genuine sentiments if one is not prepared to back it up with action. Believe me, I am busy and I cannot see ladies often as I like, yet I still like to drop them a note here and there to let them know I do not forget them the moment I walk out of the door, as some ladies perceive clients do as soon as the meeting is over. Surely this cuts both ways?

Is it really too much to expect for a client to feel valued? However, I believe it goes beyond this and it is simple human kindness, which costs nothing. Sometimes it just needs a bit of empathy, sometimes an enquiry as to how some upcoming event we discussed in our meeting went, sometimes it is just nice to know someone actually cares.

Sure I recognise the difficulties it can cause and the possible mixed messages, but ladies, just as clients do, need to exercise their judgement in whom they can trust and then to show it.

A lady will not connect with every regular client, as a gent will not with every lady. However, if a lady does connect and values either the client’s company and/or his business, it is best to demonstrate this with her actions than mere platitudes alone, otherwise she risks alienating him on some level and even losing a client.

I do hate having to write such posts, which sound either like a general rant or stick waving. The intention is to do neither, but I can only highlight what I see, experience and hear.

This may make certain issues uncomfortable or even contrary to most ladies’ opinion, but it nevertheless makes them no less real.

It is surely best to try to see an issue from both sides and, as such, I can only present a gentleman Punter’s view and it is up to others whether they wish to either believe or incorporate them.

Whilst some are naturally cold and emotionally disconnected, most are not, but some keep their barriers up so high, they cannot see what is happening on the other side, on the clients’ side of the fence.

Posted in Capital Punter, Escorts, Etiquette, New Punters, Punter Blog categories, Punters | 4 Comments

Discretion and valour

A while back, when I was working away, a junior colleague suggested we should go together to visit an Escort when the project was over. It was a suggestion which came right out of the blue, least of all as I always keep my private life exactly that and he would have had absolutely no idea as to my extra curricula activities! He was merely making the suggestion to try to make me more interesting or to embarrass me!

Was it a good idea of his? Was I tempted? No! I value my privacy and prefer to keep my activities to myself. Least of all, as he would then always have had a hold over me and I think it would have been unprofessional of me if I had put myself in this position. Indeed, if it were ever to have come out, would it have compromised my job? Rightly or wrongly, I decided (instantly) it was not worth it!

This only served to egg him on and he went on about it for weeks, but I just stonewalled every conversation by saying I was not interested and it was not my thing.

I am sure he drew the conclusion I am dull, but, do you know what? I do not care! Discretion is the greatest part of valour and all that!

Eventually he dropped it and now when we meet, he never mentions sex, whereas previously, it was his only topic of conversation!

Punting buddy

I have often said how it can be a lonely life for a Punter (read “Loneliness of the long distance Punterhttp://wp.me/p1rllI-15) and I know plenty of guys do have a Punting Buddy, someone to share experiences and recommendations with.

Would I not like to have such a Buddy? Only possibly. It would probably be someone I only know indirectly and we would have to share tastes and he would have to be on the same wavelength on discretion. I know, I am not asking for much, am I?

In short, I have done this for over four years on my own, so I am in no rush to change this.

Circle of trust

Ultimately, who can one trust? At what point does one know one can trust someone else?

Trust is such a finite commodity. After all, what is the use of 95% trust? It is only any good if trust is absolute. As I once heard it put, it is like a plane trying to fly only 95% of the time it is in the air.

Therefore, unless I am sure trust and discretion are absolute, I am not interested in divulging anything!

I am sure we have all had experience of those individuals who pay lip service to loyalty and trust, who will say one thing to us and something completely contrary to others. I am afraid I really do not have time for people like this. I really do believe in karma and what goes around cones around. Good luck to them I say, but we will never get on.

If in any doubt, it is best to exercise caution. At the end of the day, discretion really is the better part of valour.

Posted in Capital Punter, Escorts, Etiquette, New Punters, Punter Blog categories, Punters | 3 Comments

Sexuality

Sexual needs and desires are now widely recognised in psychology as being the second most important human need after survival.

As such, the suppressing or failing to fulfill sexual desires and needs is widely acknowledged in resulting in a range of physical and mental issues, as well as crime.

If this is the wisdom of those who understand the human mind best, it does beg the question, how many of us really lead a fulfilled sexual life and how many of us do not? And what are the potential consequences of failing to follow one’s sexual dreams?

I have long been exasperated by and grown increasingly weary of the debate by the do-gooders, the moral authorities and the perceived “Intelligencia”, who constantly paint the sex industry and sex workers, in particular, in a negative light.

It is also, in my mind, a fallacious and disingenuous lie to make out it is only men who have rampant sexual desires, as women have their own needs too.

I have often said, a mature and open-minded debate needs to take place, where the facts are looked at rationally, where all of the angles are considered and, most importantly of all, the views of those who know best are taken into consideration.

Such a debate needs to be free of any religious dogma, social stereotyping and negative preconceptions. Otherwise, we go round and around on the same moral roundabout, which has spun since the dawn of humanity and we get nowhere, only increasingly dizzy.

Society moves on and attitudes change. One only needs to look at how the attitudes of society have altered regarding homosexuality, Race and disability in the last generation.

Who would have considered same-sex unions would have been a legally accepted fact twenty years ago? Who would have considered a Race Hate crime would be front page news back in the dark days of the 1960s and 1970s? And who would have thought a celebration of athletes who have overcome a wide range of adversities would have caught the nation’s imagination to such a degree even ten years ago?

Times change and attitudes change. However, this can only happen if there is actually a discussion! Too much of today’s debates, as we have seen in Scotland, Ireland and Sweden have centred on banning an act, rather than attempting to understand it.

Is it not a case, maybe, it is more comfortable for society and those often self-appointed and self-anointed opinion makers to rail against something rather than to attempt to truly understand it?

Look at the debate over the legalisation of drugs: who can tell me why alcohol and tobacco are permissible, given everything we know now, yet other drugs are banished into the margins of society and driven into an unregulated underground existence?

The same goes for the sex industry. Rather than accept it is going to happen irrespective of any legislation, it is concealed from view into a largely unregulated existence, which only serves to increase the dangers to the providers and leaves the health standards open to the conscience of individuals. So who is society serving? Who is society protecting?

To pretend it does not exist or society can live without it is pointless. You don’t agree or believe me? Answer me this then: how is it where sex is meant to be an irrelevance, such as in certain religions or priesthoods, they are rife with sexual scandal?

Sexual desires are there and we all have them on some level or other. Some people are just more in touch with theirs than others. That does not mean some people do not have such desires, more they are latent, suppressed from consciousness and doing who knows what harm to them and those around them.

Sex workers are a fact of every society since the dawn of time and always will be.

It is a simple fact of life, owing to the pace of life and lifestyle of many today, not everyone can either find a suitable partner or one who fulfils all of their sexual needs. To deny this is about as valid an argument as to say the dawn will not follow the night or the sun won’t rise in the east.

Also, have attitudes changed towards a less monogamous, more sexually open and liberated way of life? For some, this is definitely true.

To start from a place where a reasonable debate can take place is the only way an issue will ever move forward. Still trying to deny the fact humans have sexual desires and there is a place for sex workers after so many millennia of futile arguments, is akin to poor old King Canute sitting on his throne trying to command the tide! Like it or not, accept it or not, it is real and it will happen, irrespective of whatever measures “society” will take to “protect” their sensibilities.

But this whole issue needs to be looked at much more in the round. It is not just about carnal lust being satisfied. The whole experience of being with someone who gives themself to you and who accepts you as you are, whilst both of you are at your most vulnerable and exposed is a feeling beyond compare.

The intimacy shared yields a closeness it is impossible to achieve in any other way. The companionship and opportunity to share one’s self fully with another is something which goes beyond the mere satisfaction of desire, rather nourishing the soul; one’s inner core.

Such companionship and intimacy builds a close bond where trust and respect are shared and the sense of worth and feeling valued by another are unsurpassed in any other way.

It leads to improved self-worth and greater self-confidence, amongst other benefits. Sure, plenty do find such experiences within a loving, even monogamous relationship, but not everyone. Sure, for some, encounters are just about sex, but not everyone can be tarred with such a broad brush stroke. And just because it may be a paid for encounter does not mean it lacks the intensity of a “real” relationship. I would argue, on some levels at least, it can surpass it.

For whatever reason, and there are a multitude, some people have to look elsewhere to achieve their desires’ fulfilment and whatever society thinks of this is irrelevant. The true testament is how much this enriches the lives of those involved or otherwise. If there are positive benefits, this just confirms the opinions of the Psychology theorists as to the importance of satisfying this basic need. If there are negative effects, well, maybe society is right after all!

However, there is no black and white answer, only many hues of grey. Yet there are plenty of other areas of life we accept as morally correct or beneficial, which still have a downside. Why are such matters glossed over in their universal acceptance?

Like it or not, every human has certain sexual desires and this is one of the most basic of needs. Suppressing them is, in my mind at least, more detrimental than fulfilling them. How one fulfils them is the issue.

Consent is everything. If it is consensual and safe, where is the harm in it?

There are too many double standards in society for it to constantly stand in judgement over others on issues it neither understands not takes the trouble to explore. Surely the only way to fully understand something is to seek the views and insights of those who really know, isn’t it?

Posted in Escorts, Ethics, Punter Blog categories, Punters | Comments Off

What women want

I like nothing more than an easy task; the path of least resistance is by far the easiest route to follow, isn’t it? Yet I also relish a challenge, so how do I these two marry tasks in one post?

That is simple, write an article on that age-old chestnut: what women want!

This is a title which would probably either strike fear into the heart of many men or have them rolling their eyes in resignation. But why should it?

To my mind there is a very simple answer: what women want is to be made to feel special.

I do not know why this should be such a secret, as it is pretty clear, or is it more of a case of it just being overlooked?

To my mind, any woman likes to feel cherished, to be made to feel valued and to be spoiled on a regular basis.

Why fight Mother Nature?

If this is the reality, why go against it? I think it is on a par with a friend of mine who is constantly leaving the toilet seat up and then complains his partner is always nagging him!

He is a scientist by profession, but it is hardly rocket science as to what the easiest thing to do would be, is it?

My advice is not to fight Mother Nature, as I am afraid us gents will generally come off second best. Work with her and it is amazing how much more harmonious life becomes.

Simple answer, isn’t it?

How does a gent make a lady feel special?

I believe it does not matter whether a lady is a lifelong companion or someone one meets just fleetingly: It is always worth treating her with total deference.

It is often the simple things, like noticing her new hairstyle, what she is wearing, cooking for her, a bunch of flowers for no reason, a simple compliment or a smile, which make the difference and make her feel special.

Many a time I have met a lady and said she has beautiful eyes or a naturally warm smile, for example, only to be told no-one has ever told her that before! What a crying shame!

One lady I met for a first meeting was so taken aback by a bunch of roses and a box of chocolates, she could not stop looking at them or mentioning them. My abiding memory of this simple gesture was her saying her ex-husband had never treated to these in seven years.

It is not a cynical ploy to ingratiate one’s self and to buy favour. That would be unforgivable: It is done solely with good intentions to make the lady feel special.

It is one of the benchmarks of my meetings with a Companion to pamper her. I do not have to do it, but I do it because I want to do it, because I want to make her feel special and for her to enjoy and to remember our time, however brief. No other reason.

The reaction of professional ladies is almost universal in loving the attention and appreciating the thought. I say “almost universal”, as to date only one lady has taken exception to the concept of pampering but I was fortunate to find this out before we ever met.

I love to give a lady a slow, gentle and sensual massage. Of course ladies enjoy it, but I also find it very arousing too, so far from detracting from my own enjoyment, it enhances it.

I also enjoy taking a simple gift to say I appreciate her, I respect her and I value her time. Similarly, I take some nice refreshments to give her a treat.

I will always find something to compliment the lady on in a sincere fashion.

I also enjoy giving the lady plenty of pleasure during our private time. Whilst I always hope this relaxes the lady and gives her a great time, it also adds to my own enjoyment.

But this is just my style; each to their own. If ladies appreciate it, then I gain great satisfaction from making her time as memorable as mine. At the end of the meeting, I would rather be remembered for the right reasons than the wrong ones.

This is just a simple example of what I believe translates readily into everyday life. All women, I believe, want to feel valued. Even if it is just the little things like holding a door, carrying a bag or helping her up some stairs with a pushchair, little things go a long way to making a big difference and to making her feel special.

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Canine petit dejeuner

Why do women wear make up? This is part rhetorical and part enquiring.

Of course, I imagine there are many reasons why a lady will wear make up, but in essence, the second part of my question is “do they do it for themselves or for others?”.

The reason I ask this is not to open a can of worms or to delve into the deeper issues, more as an outsider’s view, i.e. that of a man!

One issue I do have concern over, which is what my questions were leading toward, is when ladies feel the must wear make up for men to find them “attractive” rather than through their own desire.

I believe a lady should do whatever SHE desires to feel good, confident or even sexy, but I do not believe a lady should do it if she feels she is only doing it for others or she has to look a certain way to be accepted.

I have no idea what other men like or find attractive, so for my extensive research for this article, as indeed with most of my posts, the only opinion I have to go on is my own.

I find carefully and discreetly applied make up can enhance a lady’s natural features and beauty and it can look beautiful. However, and here is my bug bear, too much or the wrong shades or poorly applied make up can make a lady look nothing short of the proverbial dog’s breakfast!

Of course, this is my taste and if a lady looks too made up and does not appeal to me, it is not to say it is wrong or that she would not be attractive to anyone.

Naturally I accept it can also come down to peer pressure and what is perceived as being expected and I acknowledge it is easy for guys, as we have none of this array of make up choices to contend with all we have to do is to get up, wash and go, well, in most cases!

“Don’t you know that it’s different for girls”

From my years of observation, forming my opinion, I can see firstly choosing the correct make up and tones and then applying it well are nothing short of an art form. Some do it well, with consummate easy, whilst others do not.

I dare say there are plenty who think they look good, but have never sought either outside opinion or professional advice. In some cases I have observed, their make up can almost look comical to the point of looking like a circus escapee. Again, my opinion only.

Of course all of this comes down to personal choices and preferences. My personal preference is, as already stated, for modest, understated choices. However, I believe the greatest beauty is what lies beneath the make up, their natural beauty and their inner beauty of their personality. For some ladies, no amount of make up will cover a corrosive or abrasive personality, whilst others radiate with charm from the inside outwards.

The ladies I know best and, indeed, find the most attractive hardly wear any make up and they are stunning! But, then again, I am biased!

Posted in Capital Punter, Punter Blog categories | Comments Off

Ain’t no mountain high enough…..!

When meeting with a Companion, I imagine convenience would be one of the key factors. After all, who would start a search with the furthest away ladies as a main criterion?

Me! Yes, although I do not do it deliberately, I seem to see only people afar!

Initially, it was a conscious decision to escape my part of the “London village”, as that is what London seems like at times, such is my propensity to bump into people I know in the strangest of places, sometimes whilst on “active service”!

For a couple of years, I have always travelled a bit to meet a Companion, yet, by accident rather than design, only one of the ladies I saw lived locally.

Now, I know no-one in my area and I have to rely on their good grace to travel to meet. In addition, both ladies I see regularly arrange the room and have quite a journey.

It is flattering anyone would go to these lengths to meet, well, me! Believe me, I do not take this lightly and I hope they know just how much I do sincerely appreciate it!

Some ladies I have met have gone to enormous lengths to make a meeting possible, even travelling long distances without knowing me, save for a rather ropey blog, an Adultwork profile (www.adultwork.com) and a phone call. No, even I cannot understand why they would do it!

I am not adverse to travelling, when feasible, and I used to travel a decent distance to see one lady for a couple of years and I have had a few “Punter away days” (http://wp.me/p1rllI-74), which always make a nice change of scene and the ladies make it more than worth the effort.

However, these can, sadly, only ever be occasional visits due to my schedule. It is frustrating in the extreme and I normally will not see someone if I cannot be sure of being able to get there regularly, but these ladies were definitely a worthwhile exception.

I know I could probably meet many ladies in the areas of London I am frequently in, but I just do not select someone at random. There has to have been a good degree of contact beforehand and I have to feel a compelling reason to meet them.

Both of the ladies I see now contacted me! This is in its self another remarkable factor for me, illustrating how much better it is to meet someone who has a genuine interest in one as a person, rather than meeting me just because I am another booking.

Anyone who does travel a distance, must take basic precautions when meeting someone they have not met before, other than the usual safety considerations, such as making confirmed booking (such as on Adultwork), take a deposit, or have the client book the room and send a copy of the confirmation.

Distance meetings can be fun and add a new dimension to the people in one’s area, yet they do carry a risk of greater cost and going somewhere unfamiliar. Still, if the reason is great enough, “there ain’t no mountain high enough”…….!

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Days of wonder

Every single one of us will have those days when we marvel at something, as well as days when we wonder what the hell just happened!

There has been a pattern to my “Days of Wonder” over the past year or more. The scenario is this: I have a free afternoon or evening, funds in the Punting budget and a burning desire to meet some hot lady for a session of debauched fun.

I set afoot doing my research as of “olden days”. I look through Adultwork (www.adultwork.com) and I may even put out a Reverse Booking to see what comes up.

Although I do not use agencies any more, there are a couple of upmarket ones I keep an eye on and a couple of ones for a particular passion, Oriental ladies, particularly those from Japan.

I will look through each site, looking at the ladies in the area I shall be in and draw up a list of three per agency, as per their recommended guidelines prior to calling.

Normally this will all take place a few days in advance, but it may also be the day beforehand.

The Reverse Booking bids start to roll in, usually with the same disappointing results: ladies who have not read the request properly, who cannot do the day and time stipulated, are not in the stated area or do not have an incall location. Infuriating! It is not just certain gents who do not read websites properly, ladies!

By now I am getting somewhat disillusioned and questioning what to do. There may be a few interesting respondents, so I may email them and this then reduces the field further by the lack of response, its laconic tone or by the complete lack of ability to send a simple, warm response. If one’s custom matters so little, it will not be missed.

I will review the agency lists and may either call or email. Some agencies are good at responding to both forms of contact, whilst others are woeful! Last year I emailed four agencies, how many responded? Not one! Why put an email address on your site if it is not monitored or enquiries are not acted upon? Crap service means no custom from me!

My standard email is not of the time-wasting variety, as I clearly state the day, time, duration and location I am looking at, along with the three ladies I have selected. I ask them for their recommendations too.

It is a simple fact, particularly with the prevalence of smart phones, emailing is sometimes way more convenient than calling, particularly due to the nature of enquiry where discretion is everything. I will then call to book, but I like to check out their service first. Where it is so woeful, I discount them instantly and indefinitely.

Based on my limited experience of agencies in recent years, I am none too impressed! Maybe it is because of my background in service industries, but treating customers with contempt will be the death knell of many agencies in due course.

My Reverse Bookings have not been overwhelming in their responses, my agency experiences have not been amazing, so I may contact a few ladies directly from my hot list, but, yet again, the response may be poor.

At the end of the day, in the vast majority of cases in recent times when I could have seen someone on an ad hoc, possibly last minute basis, what has happened? I end up seeing no-one! Why?

Quite simply because I do not see just anyone; it has to feel right and it has to promise an experience. Otherwise, it is just carnal and it does not appeal.

Equally, there have been occasions where I have had every opportunity of seeing someone but I did nothing. Why? In these cases it is simple: I knew I would end up on some time-consuming trawl as I outlined above, possibly with no results to show for it.

Today, whilst I am sat in a bar in the City writing this, I should have been in a meeting. The same scenario arose: accrued flexi-time meant a day off with a few days’ notice.

Yet again, I commenced the same approach but nothing. It would be disingenuous to say I did not find any ladies who caught my eye. I did and it would be grossly unfair to intimate most ladies do not measure up to what I am looking for.

The truth is, even though I do seek a very specific type of lady and experience, there are plenty of charming ladies out there who I could visit. Whilst some searches are fruitless, there is an equal or greater proportion where I just do not fancy meeting someone new.

There are other posts which look at some of the reasons behind this in more detail, but, in short, I guess I am only happy with those I know very well and I feel uncomfortable meeting a lady without a clear feeling of both of us approaching the booking in the same manner and both seeking a similar experience.

I know this is a failing on my part and I am probably an atypical Punter in this respect, but hey! That’s me! There is no standard pro forma for gents and the Punters’ Manual is yet to materialise; we are just all different.

I do sometimes feel I should just throw caution to the wind and go and meet more ladies for a one-off, yet bad experiences have taught me the value in seeing only a few ladies. Just choosing almost at random feels to me like a Punter form of roulette and I am not about spin the wheel, place my bet and hope it comes out on red or black.

I do also concede, as I covered in a post, “Basket of eggs” (http://wp.me/p1rllI-ww), there is one definite and large flaw in my approach: with only a small circle, if a lady leaves or things turn sour, there is suddenly a feeling of emptiness or being forlorn.

So, another wasted afternoon in Punting terms, if indeed, sitting here writing my thoughts out for you is a wasted opportunity! It does concern me and I think deep down I know where I am going with my Punting, but that may be something I cogitate over the next pint.

In the meantime, I will nibble some more on the McCoys and consider this “Day of Wonder”, wondering what went “wrong” this time.

Posted in Adultwork, Capital Punter, Escorts, Punter Blog categories, Punters | 1 Comment

Infatuation

One of the main challenges of meetings, particularly with seeing someone regularly, is managing emotions (see my post by the same name on this http://wp.me/p1rllI-jb) and ensuring one keeps an eye on what is real and what is only perceived.

The question I often ponder is how soon do you really know someone properly?

Meetings may be frequent and you may share intense times, but it is important to always retain one’s focus as it is not “real” life.

If you think about it, irrespective of how intense the interactions are and how much you may confide in one and another, most meetings are only for a few hours. Therefore, it stands to reason, in reality, you do not know the other person that well.

It is easy to think you do know someone and I know many think they have fallen for someone, but what is this infatuation based upon? The intensity of the times shared? How well you think you know the person? Or just a desire to spend more time with them?

There is a big difference between someone we love being with for just a few hours occasionally and someone we cannot be without who we adore and who makes us complete.

Some may have deluded themselves to think they adore someone, but honestly, how much do you really know about them? Is what you know even the real them? Bear in mind discretion cloaks us all in a veil of secrecy to some degree or other and some people do not even reveal real details about themselves.

In truth, there is a heady cocktail of hormones which can easily fool us into thinking we are hooked, whereas the reality is we are not using our heads, just being swept away in a tsunami of emotions and a maelstrom of confusion.

Some Companions are much more open than others and as a result one knows them much better, but this is still within the boundaries of a relationship built upon discretion.

For example, several ladies I have known who are married, irrespective of whether they are open about this with their clients or not, have had clients “fall” for them.

Of course their “reality” means there is absolutely no chance any client’s affections, however well-intentioned, will be appreciated. If a client knows about the lady’s relationship status or not is irrelevant; it just goes to show how limited one’s knowledge really is, so any “infatuation” is neither rational nor appropriate.

It does cut both ways too. I am always very careful in my interactions to make it abundantly clear I am not looking for anything other than companionship, yet I have had two ladies make strong and persistent advances on me.

Maybe these ladies misunderstood my approach of always spoiling a lady and my aim to treat her well, but this is not what one expects a professional Companion to do.

Sure, I will not lie, it is flattering to have someone who shows an interest, but it does complicate matters if it is not what both parties seek.

The other factor to consider is this: if one party does become infatuated and it is unrequited, it will usually end the association, simply because it would be unhealthy to continue in these circumstances, least of all as it breaches the degree of trust in each other not to overstep the other person’s boundaries.

In short, if anyone, be they a client or a Companion feels they are becoming infatuated, ask yourself if it is real or just a confused state of emotions? Also, do you want to jeopardise the longevity of the relationship by failing to control one’s emotions properly and with maturity.

Although personal relationships do happen between Companions and clients, they are by far exceptions and not the rule. The rest are usually one-sided infatuations and most definitely not to be encouraged.

Posted in Capital Punter, Etiquette, New Punters, Punter Blog categories, Punters | 3 Comments

Hollow

Let me ask you a question. This question I would like to address to both Companions and gentlemen: is there or can there be a certain hollowness to the meeting experience?

I realise I will probably need to clarify what I mean by this question before you can give an honest answer, so here goes.

When meeting someone, particularly if it is as a regular event, can you ever say you really know them?

We know, no matter how well we may get on during a meeting, a lady or a gent is only someone we will know in bite-sized segments and no-one will ever really know the true person in-depth, will they?

Despite how much parties can chat, discretion always means there is always so much which goes unsaid or does not get discussed or cannot be covered.

There are questions one feels one can never ask and there are many things one would love to know, not in a nosey or even sinister way, mere out of curiosity and a desire to know the other person better.

Some people are naturally more generous of themselves than others and feel more at ease to divulge details about themselves. Yet there is nothing wrong if someone does not feel comfortable to be open, it just means two parties will never know each other as well.

There is a certain hollowness in the feeling of being close in so many ways, yet such strangers in others. The barriers which mean one cannot ever really ask some things without seeming like one is prying, create a certain degree of distance and separation, regardless of how close the parties are in other ways.

This situation can feel more compounded by the frequency and regularity of meetings. The better parties may know each other, whilst retaining this separation enhances the hollowness one may experience.

Do you ever really know each other? Yes! Whilst I accept it is very unusual and maintaining discretion is important for most parties, it is possible to meet a person one trusts and clicks with to the degree where there are no barriers.

I know one lady like this and we share openly and there is no awkwardness. We know if either of us has an issue in their lives, it can be readily discussed and with great empathy. Furthermore, we have no secrets from one and another. There is never that awkward feeling where one knows the other person is holding out on them, yet one has to accept it as part of the discretion boundaries.

The only hollowness one feels with these meetings is when they are over and there is a gap until our next liaison.

Yet, this is the exception, not the norm, so my usual experience is where the hollow feeling is there that I do not and probably never will know my favourite Companions as well as I would like.

This is not to say I believe this is wrong. Far from it. I fully acknowledge and accept the boundaries of the scene and I would never advocate anyone ever seek to transgress these, except in exceptional circumstances and will the complete agreement of both parties.

How about you? Do you experience a degree of hollowness too?

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Out of control

Every Punter will have his own seminal moments on his (or her) journey, yet one of my more profound ones came before I even began my odyssey.

If I can be brutally frank with you, I was surprised by the general hourly rates stated, so I was concerned things could easily spiral out of control and who can say they will definitely have the backbone to be able to stop or cut back if the costs do?

With this in mind, I was taken aback when I read one Field Report on Punternet (www.punternet.com), in which the Punter concerned said he could easily see himself becoming addicted to this particular lady and to the habit in general. This set alarm bells ringing within me over the inherent dangers.

An addiction to a particular lady is easy to address, insofar as it is not what Punting is about and most definitely not what I sought, so this did not concern me. Any time, predominantly in my early days, when I felt confused over whether my affection for any lady was becoming something other than professional, I did not return. This may sound harsh, but it is the only way to maintain clarity of boundaries, to be fair with the ladies one sees and to prevent one’s self entering into a situation for which there can be no positive outcomes.

As for a financial addiction, I took on board this Punter’s point and resolved to set and to stick to a budget every month. There is not a bottomless bank balance available, so any transgressions would mean a shortage elsewhere. Therefore, I have been disciplined in maintaining a very watchful eye over my expenditure.

This said though, it would be wrong of me to omit to mention, there have been a fair few times where I have been concerned I may be spending too much, not in going over budget, rather on individual bookings or on particular ladies.

The first of these occasions came when I saw a delightful lady through the now defunct agency “Bunnies of London”, my all-time favourite agency by a London Mile!

Our first meeting was fantastic and even though the Bunnies rates were higher than I normally paid at that stage for a meeting, I knew I wanted to see the lady again and soon.

I booked a longer meeting for ten days time and as soon as I arrived on the day, I extended! It was a fantastic meeting and a special experience was had for the first time. However, not long after I left, I did feel a certain unease and I soon realised my angst was due to the overall cost.

This meant I had to drastically scale back on my activity for the month ahead and I did keep away from longer bookings for a while.

The next time I experienced such unease was when I started having regular Duo bookings. By their very nature, such meetings meant twice the fee. Even taking into account the offers some ladies make, these bookings were never cheap.

However, I did decide the value of such meetings was in the experience they afforded and this was compatible with my aspirations and raison d’être.

As the hourly rate of the ladies I saw increased, so did the joint Duo fee. This meant, to allow me to experience these bookings on a regular basis, I cut back on general meetings.

Over time though, what I once considered a lot for a two-hour booking (£350), soon became less than I was spending per booking. However, I again came back to my central point: if the bookings yielded what I sought and the ladies were the kind of ladies I appreciated spending time with, it was worth it: cost versus value.

Before long, the regularity of my meetings were a fraction of my early years, which was fine, as I anticipated them far more and appreciated each encounter all the more for the pleasure the offered.

It does amuse me how, over the years some slightly less than pleasant and vindictive ladies, for whatever motivation, have said I would either “shag anything that moved”, I wanted to “bed every Escort in London” or I was “addicted and couldn’t stop”. These comments have been said in various guises a fair few times, but, despite how they might have irritated at times, in essence, they demonstrated only one thing: how little the ladies concerned really knew me or how I operated.

Anyone can make a lazy observation or a sweeping generalisation. However, few were ever really in a position to know the truth and to be able to comment with any real authority or accuracy!

I do know the occasional comment was made out of concern for my wellbeing, but I can reassure anyone who might have such a concern, I have never been out of control and could walk away at any time I chose. Indeed, there have been some substantial breaks in my activities and those who really know where I am at these days, will know just how out of control I really am!

Every gent needs to be able to control their own activity, this is true, but some people do just have addictive streaks in them. Otherwise, why do some people smoke, yet want to quit? Why do some gamble or drink too much? Why do some eat to excess?

There are many forms of addiction and anyone who feels their actions are out of control firstly needs to acknowledge this and, then, secondly, resolve to take action, positive action to permanently erase this behaviour from their make-up.

For a Punter this may mean walking away and keeping away. However, if the self-discipline is lacking, they must seek professional help, such as from a Sex Therapist or suitably trained counsellor.

No-one can ever give up an addition without either first acknowledging their standard behavioural pattern or without resolving to change it. Therefore, the first step is awareness.

Out of control? There is only one person who can ever really decide whether this applies to them or not.

Posted in Capital Punter, Escorts, Ethics, Etiquette, New Punters, Punter Blog categories, Punters, Threesomes | Comments Off

A question of economics?

When one sees the same lady regularly, often over a long period, should this make a difference to how one is regarded? Or should all clients be treated the same, regardless of how often they have visited the lady?

In any business, customers or clients should be regarded as the life blood of that organisation and, therefore, neglected at one’s peril!

But should loyal, repeat clients be entitled to a higher level of care? Essentially, I believe a business should look after all of it’s clients well, regardless of whether it is their first or 101st visit. Of course we all like to feel appreciated and have the value-added service, but does regular custom entitle us to extra?

As an Escort, what extra can a lady give? I do not believe for a minute the ladies I know hold back in any way and always give 100% to a booking, so what extra can they give?

I feel very uncomfortable if offered a discount. I know it is a lady’s prerogative to do this, in exceptional cases, if she sees fit, but I would never wish for it to appear like I am taking advantage. One lady I knew well did give me a discount, which was appreciated, but we had seen each other for nearly three years, so I am grateful for this recognition of me as a client, but I always checked it is ok and never assumed it is carte blanche.

The most regular “extra” I get is extra time. Again, I never expect this and always appreciate the sentiments of those I know well when they allow a few extra minutes.

One thing I would never accept is a freebie. The reason for this is simple: it goes against the nature of the meeting and changes the dynamics too much, to the point of being awkward for both parties.

I estimate I have seen a couple of ladies up to 2 to 3 times a month, which can equate to about 20 times in a year, costing me not an inconsiderable sum each month. However, this is not something I begrudge in the slightest, unless I feel it is either unappreciated or I am not trusted. On one occasion this did become an issue and it was really sad the situation caused things to come to an end.

I know some gents will see a favourite lady much more often, even weekly, so it is worth considering how one is valued.

In many jobs, a salary of £1,500 per month is not unusual, particularly in these austere times. Therefore, for an Escort to earn this from one client for only a few meetings represents a fair return even for a part-time lady.

As I say I have absolutely no problem with this when it is appreciated. However, when it is not…..! It may sound harsh, but it is a business relationship, so such repeat custom is in effect subsidising the lifestyle of a person. If a gent is happy with the scenario, but I do hear of guys who are not but still see the lady to the point of resenting it. If so, why do it?

“Keep it real”

I have talked before about how important I think it is for us gents to “keep it real” by not losing sight of what our reality is and visits to Escorts is an escape from our day-to-day humdrum. If this is true, I believe Escorts need to “keep it real” too and to ensure they do not take their clients, particularly their most loyal and regular ones for granted. Of course the vast majority of ladies would never lose sight of this basic economic fact, but sadly a small percentage do.

Either jealousy over clients seeing someone else too, complaining about visits being too infrequent, to a myriad of other reasons, some fail to value their clients.

I have talked before about the ultimate veto (http://wp.me/p1rllI-o7) and clients will go elsewhere if they are not ultimately happy with the manner of their treatment.

I do believe both Escorts and gents need to keep sight of the fact meetings are business: It is a simple question of economics.

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Punter pride?

Would you rather be known as a good client or someone a lady would be glad to see the back of? Worst still, one a lady will want to leave negative feedback for or to go onto one of the various Escort forums to warn other ladies about?

Of course there is perfect justification for a lady to react in this manner towards clients who have been either rude, abusive, disrespectful to her working practices or unreliable.

However, I imagine some individuals would not be in the slightest bit bothered about being labelled, but for more conscientious clients, such a view can really affect their confidence and pride.

Take a client who may be new to the scene or just lacking confidence in general. He may come over as either taciturn or overly nervous and make a meeting awkward. Equally, he may let nerves get the better of him and either be late for a meeting or even unable to go through with it.

For a lady, such incidents of lost time and revenue are all too common place and a real irritation, which would make a negative reaction all too easy and a perfectly reasonable response.

However, for a gent low on confidence or generally insure of the scene, such a condemnation could be shattering to his self belief.

Equally, nowadays many guys have a negative self-image when it comes to their body image, their size and their prowess. Any negative comments to this effect, even those in jest, could have a devastating blow to already fragile pride.

There have been many occasion when I feel my efforts aimed at being a considerate and conscientious gent have either been misinterpreted or gone unappreciated, which do not add to one’s confidence and do knock one’s pride.

For example, I have felt really offended in the past when a couple of Escorts I had yet to even meet have refused to see me. Why? They had their reasons, but I felt they were very unjust and it was very hurtful.

However, I readily acknowledge every lady does have the right to meet whoever they want and going by their logic, on reflection, I doubt we would have hit it off, so it was probably for the best. Still, it did offend my sensibilities and bruised my pride, least of all as I felt both cases could have been handled with a bit more tact and consideration for the other party’s feelings.

If I felt like this for what I considered to be spurious reasons, how would I have been had a lady ever left negative feedback for me or if a lady I saw asked me not to return? Mortified!

Although I have never had any negative feedback, one lady did ask me not to return. I have blogged about this meeting before and how perplexing it was to receive a text after another very cordial meeting, having already met more than a dozen times. Pride was not the only thing upset on this occasion.

Contrast the negative experiences I have covered with those of a kind or genuine nature.

I am sure many a gent will have met a lady who is like a breath of fresh air. Her attitude is different, her level of acceptance of the gent and even her trust in him and her openness towards him. All of these can give the gent a real confidence boost.

Then there are the genuine, altruistic comments a lady may mention in passing, which can leave a gent on Cloud Nine long after the meeting.

Supposition? Not at all, as I can readily attest to all of these and the immense restorative impact they can have on one’s confidence and pride.

One lady has picked me up after many a “car crash” moment, not with idle platitudes or insincerity, but with genuine, considered comments which have made all the difference.

Another lady has regularly voiced an opinion, which, although very complimentary and although I know her very well and totally trust her opinion and honesty, I struggle to accept it. This is not through false modesty on my part, more as a result of plenty of knocks over the years. However, the mere fact this lady even thinks this about me, does do wonders for my confidence. I certainly never doubt her sincerity or opinion, yet once pride has been dented, it can be hard to restore it.

I am sure there are many factors which can either adversely or positively affect the pride of a Punter. The ones I have highlighted here, some general, some personal, are but a few.

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Magic moments

A question recently crossed my mind: what is the most magical moment during any booking? Is this different for gents and ladies? Of course these moments will be different for all of us and may vary even depending on whom we are with.

However, for me, there are several “magic moments”, some specific to new meetings, some to seeing a cherished companion and some to any meeting.

For example, there is the growing intimacy and connection of meeting with a regular, as our knowledge of each other increases, so does the intensity of each meeting. Many a time during a meeting with one of the ladies I know best, we have both speculated whether our meetings really do become more intense each time and the answer is simple: they do. This is certainly a magical moment.

When one meets someone for the first time, there is the magical moment when the door opens and the mystery of what the lady is really like is suddenly solved and all of the mystique is done away with.

Magical moments for me during a meeting include the moment of penetration, particularly when the lady sits above me, takes my cock in her had and gently lowers herself onto me. That initial moment of intense intimacy is always special.

Equally, I enjoy the intimacy of Oral Without (OWO) and CIM and, occasionally, Anal too. Then there is making a lady cum, either with my tongue, fingers or during penetration and if a lady squirts too, this is exceptionally magical.

Entering into a long, lingering and passionate embrace is a magical moment, as any other Deep French Kissing aficionados would also attest to.

However, one of the most priceless aspects of meetings is the time spent together and the experiences jointly created. It is not something one can plan for, but just occurs. Sometimes everything clicks and other times it does not, but when it does, it is amazing.

Feeling that spontaneity whilst reading each other’s every desire and pleasuring it is an experience it is hard to rival.

There are many magical moments one can have in a meeting and I am sure everyone will have their own. The main thing is not what they are but the enjoyment of them when they do arise.

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Somebody I used to know

Why does a lady I used to visit regularly become just somebody I used to know?

Regulars play a very important part of my whole experience, so the whole topic of who I see and have seen becomes a fascinating area to me.

In short, there can be many reasons why I may have stopped. Some may be due to a falling out or behaviour I do not appreciate, the kind of thing I listed in “The ultimate veto” (http://wp.me/p1rllI-o7) and other similar posts, but in reality, most of the ladies I now just used to know did not do anything “wrong”.

The main reasons I stop meeting a lady I used to see regularly is because we have different tastes or outlook or circumstances for either of us have changed.

Although my tastes are quite broad, over time, if a lady does not enjoy the same experiences as me, I find meetings become too restricted or not totally fulfilling. Nothing wrong with her, but we just have I divergence of enjoyment: we are different.

I make no secret about the type of experience I enjoy, particularly when I am with a lady and I am much more candid than on these pages. As with tastes, there can be a divergence of experience, so if a lady has a different preference, over time, things will fizzle out.

I have to be honest, part of this experience is total trust, complete openness and absolute honesty. I do not expect any lady to conform to my way of thinking one bit. However, I will only seek to share experiences with a lady long-term who does exhibit total trust and acceptance of me and one who is prepared to share about herself with me.

Just like any “consumer”, I make decisions based on what I seek. Sorry, but that is my prerogative. I mean no disrespect by it, but I will only make a long-term commitment to spending my time and money where it gives me the greatest all-round return.

It pains me greatly, as I do feel too many ladies do not consider their clients as valued customers and fail to see things from a gent’s point of view. Sure there is a regular turnover of clients and a ready supply of them, but why not look after the decent clients in the first place? Failure to do so, in the long-run, will be the demise of anyone in any business.

Much as I would never seek to hurt any lady’s feelings, we all have to accept this is business and I do have to be true to my own desires too.

Without a doubt, I have neglected my own feelings and aspirations on all-too-many occasions in the past and I have carried on seeing ladies whom I like, but do not nor will ever likely to offer the complete experience I seek, for way too long.

Well, no more.

I am sure I am also guilty of taking the path of least resistance way too often. This is probably due to confusion in my own mind to a large degree.

Well, no more.

There is something reassuring about meeting a lady one knows well, who is easy-going and who takes me as I am and whom I get on well with. However, is this everything which makes a meeting or have I missed something?

Yes, I cannot see someone where there is not a close affinity, this is true, but there is also so much more to it. If the experience does not match what I enjoy, who am I being true to and who am I being dishonest with? Ultimately, when I have felt I have betrayed my principles and been taken advantage of, I find the whole experience to be pretty distasteful and demeaning. Yes ladies, us gents too can feel used.

I will always treat a lady well, whether we meet the once or many, many times. I do this because I enjoy doing so and feel it is an imperative. Most appreciate it, some I do not believe do. If this is not to a lady’s tastes, it is not a problem, we will just go our separate ways.

It is always so much easier to make an informed decision if there has been behaviour I do not appreciate, such as a terse attitude, jealousy, taciturnity or indiscretion. It is way harder to gain a 20-20 perspective when everything seems fine on the face of it.

If we get on and there are no issues over mutual respect, it becomes more challenging to disseminate how fulfilling a meeting or the complete package were.

However, in time, if one makes an effort to regularly review things, it should be apparent where the complete experience matches our own desires and where it does not.

Some people will never match what each and everyone of us seeks, some may do so in part, whilst others will do so completely, either for a while or for the long-term.

To have a long-term association, it has to be something a lady wants to be part of and not just for the financial reasons alone. And before anyone judges me harshly for my outlook, examine your own purchasing behaviour in every aspect of your life as a consumer; do you not do the same? I would be very surprised if you do not.

As I said earlier, I never wish to upset anyone, but I do need to be completely honest to both of us. If everything clicks, it is my pleasure to spend time with a lady. If it does not, we will go our separate ways at some point or other and I am sorry for this, but that is the reality.

We all have friends and business associates we have known for years and others who are just somebody we used to know.

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What was I thinking?

It is well over four years since my first meeting!

In some ways, however, that first meeting in Earl’s Court through the agency Hot Collection (http://www.hot-collection.co.uk/) now seems like a lifetime ago.

What did I expect at the outset?

The honest answer to this is I had no idea! I was incredibly naive about the whole scene, the procedures, the morality and even, to some degree, the legality too.

I thought it would be different. I hoped it would expand my experiences. I had a rough idea what I was looking for, but it was incredibly vague!

Where did I think this journey would end up in four years?

If you have read my post “The magnificent seven” (http://wp.me/p1rllI-jJ), you would know I did not expect this to even be a journey! It was more of a destination, a short-term matter.

One thing which is definite, I certainly never envisaged I would be here still and even blogging about it! How life can take unpredictable turns!

Game changers

There are many things which have shaped my experience and how I now operate. These include the ladies I now know, the ladies I have met, as well as the experiences I have had, both good and bad.

On balance though, it has been incredible.

For all of the “car crashes” and “train wrecks”, I have had many more amazing meetings, some with some of the most delightful ladies one could ever hope to meet.

The fact I have become well acquainted with a few of these ladies is something I never envisaged and possibly even a prospect I would have been nervous about at the outset.

I was so concerned about privacy and discretion, both mine and the lady’s, I was worried about the implications of getting to know anyone well.

Of course, the reality is with genuine ladies, it is nothing to be concerned about and because they were accepting of me and open with me from the outset, it meant any anxieties I had were soon appeased.

I really had no idea it was possible to form such a close friendship and to have such absolute trust with a companion, something which is mutually acceptable and respectful.

If some find this prospect either wrong or uncomfortable, that is fine, but it is my reality not theirs. However, many others share these intensely personal and close relationships with their clients or companions.

The future?

Where do I see myself going? After my spectacular inability to see how the future would pan out four years ago, can I really proffer an opinion here?

I would say yes. Why? Because I now know far better what my values and aspirations as a gentleman Punter are.

I would guess I am likely to see the ladies I know best now on a more regular basis and keep it to that. It is what works best for me and delivers by far the more defined and intense experiences I seek.

Meeting ladies without any issues, who are genuine and very sexually aware and open, as well as who are most generous with their time is something one does not find easily and I am really fortunate to know those I do.

Is there any space for any further forays? I probably do not have much choice here! Whilst I say I would be happy to keep to a very small circle, I am constantly being encouraged by one of these ladies to “find new posse members”! This lady enjoys our naughty Threesomes and she is always casting a prurient eye over Adultwork (www.adultwork.com) and suggesting who I should see.

One thing is for sure: whatever I do, I am convinced there are many new things to try and many more memorable experiences to be had. Despite my naivety four years ago, I can say now I have a better idea as to what I am thinking!

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Masterly subservient

I wonder who else has a meeting, every now and then, which just leaves you both in fits?

I saw one lady a while back and although we have met a few times and we have always enjoyed a good laugh, I think Nitrous oxide must have been circulating in the air con on the day in question!

It was just a really funny meeting from start to finish! Damn good fun too, but also very funny.

During one moment, the lady and I were talking about who we like to take the lead and she asked me if I ever like to dominate? Without thinking, I replied “Of course, but I am masterly subservient!”.

Where this came from I know not and we laughed at this paradox and oxymoron. On reflection though, maybe my companion was laughing more at the moron who said it?!

We did then explore how this would work: Trying to dominate whilst being overly obedient.

It may be a strange quirk, but we may also have created a whole new genre! “Master seeks slave to be dominated by”! It has all of the hallmarks of a tail wagging the dog or “Master wants to be your bitch”!

A masterly subservient Dom could also be terribly polite: “do this when I tell you to do it, slave! That is if you really don’t mind? Or unless you have anything else you’d rather do”.

Sometimes things just come out of the blue and the meeting takes in its own life form and this was one such occasion. It just permeated the whole booking and even in emails afterwards.

I think we were both rather knocked off course by this strange creation from the darker recesses of my little dark room in the mind, as we just could not work it out.

I am sure this poor lady, whilst firstly reflecting on the wisdom of accepting my booking, must have been left with a sore head afterwards. I like to leave an impression, but not in a way that screws with the grey matter! Apologies to this lady for having done so!

See! There I go again, being all masterly and subservient.

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